A guitar slide and a declaration: "Tonight I'm coming home in a coma if it fucking kills me." Thus starts off Every Time I Die's twenty seven minute ear fucking of a masterpiece we aptly call Hot Damn.

And I'll be God damned if this album isn't the most perfect hardcore album I've ever heard.

I first caught wind of ETID when I was a Junior in high school and the first song I remember hearing was off their second album called "The Logic of Crocodiles." Shortly after being exposed to them, they came out with Hot Damn and I fell in love.

There's not a song on this album that any fan of hardcore wouldn't love. It has the witty, always quotable lyrics of Keith Buckley, the catchy guitar onslaughts of Andy and Jordan, and hard hitting drumming courtesy of Mike (in regards to ETID it's best to never mention the bassist). The key to the album is it's short.

Like, really short.

At twenty seven minutes, there's no room for fat here. Every song is either two minutes or under. They hit you hard, destroy every chance you have of ever listening to other hardcore albums again, and leave you tired, sweaty, and craving a cigarette.

Every.Single.Song.Is.Perfect.

So I'll just do a quick rundown of each one, give you a line from each song because the lyrics are always my favorite part. Simply put, you need to buy this album. No ifs ands or buts about it.

Romeo A Go-Go - "There's a delicate love song in this, kicked out and dripping in verse. Go get your gun because God won't show. He sent a poet instead."

Off Broadway - "Tonight we dance, for tomorrow they release the dogs. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. Keep it up. 1,2,3. Savor it. Where is my head? Where is my heart? Everything vanishes."

I Been Gone A Long Time - "What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (It's so tight!)" and this song has the mandatory cowbell in it....so that makes it an automatic plus.

Godspeed Us To Sea - "Oh captain, my captain, you've been drinking. What happened? I've been slurring my cadences, and blacking out when I stand."

She's My Rushmore - " The greatest lovers were murders first."

Floater(Best.Fucking.Song.Ever.)- "Don't let your dreamers grow up to be dead men. 
Drown us at birth, save her some time. Drifting on romantic holiday, breathless as her cold arms cover me. Drag the lake. You'll find it's full of love." This song also has hands down one of my favorite breakdowns to ever see live.

In The Event That Everything Should Go Terribly Wrong - This is ETID's version of a calm instrumental and I think it's a nice way to calm down a second and regain your composure before the end of the cd hits you.

Ebolarama (Their single off the album, if you can call it that) - "When in Rome we shall do as the Romans, when in hell we do shots at the bar." <3

Hit Of The Search Party - "Sleep with one knife open. You can't outthink us, we've been out of thoughts for a while."

Pornogratherapy - "We'll sing the glory of the gospel for some whiskey and a skin flick. Hallelujah."

This is one of my favorite bands ever and every single album they've made has been stellar, but there is and will always be only one Hot Damn.